The Down Swing

It’s been sometime. How are you internet people?

As you may have read previously, I’ve spent the past several months pondering my future: with graduation looming and the next phase of graduate school soon to begin, I can’t help but spent my nights musing what tomorrow and next year will hold.

I find myself at a crossroads different from that of most of my peers. By this time, most my colleagues are attached to some significant other. Their future plans are complicated by having to plan for two. While I allow my dreams to run wild, they are forced to face a reality of relationships and finances. My options are seemingly limitless, a bragging point among my friends. But what I never say is that a small piece of me wishes I was like them: planning a life for two.

It’s true: I have a wide open door to the future that many others cannot afford at this time, and for this opportunity, I’m deeply grateful. Where excitement exists, it’s shadowed by fear.

I have a wide open door to the world, but I will walk that path alone.

I can go anywhere, but, for now, I will go there alone.

My thoughts on the future swing back and forth between elation and depression. Friends, forgive me this: today I’m terrified. But some day soon, this will change to excitement and back again.

It’s exhausting, but that’s just how things are, and I’m okay with that.

And lyrics:

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