And by “that” I mean, motivation and self-discipline.
“Keep on going and the chances are that you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down.” – Charles F. Kettering
My last summer short story is due in two weeks. I head back to school in three. The summer is drawing to a close, and I can’t say I’m too upset by that. It’s been a long and difficult summer, at times. It’s hard to maintain a structured life for myself here. This past semester, I was able to stay on top of things and ahead of may deadlines because of the structured environment. At home, it’s too easy to just do nothing and waste the day away with largely meaningless activities. Which I’ve done more often than I care to consider.
On applications and in interviews, they always ask for your weaknesses. I’ve always struggled to identify my weaknesses but not out of some vain pride. Rather, I would contend it’s much the opposite. Regardless, I have often had trouble trying to figure out what to write or say. Not any more.
This is something I’ve always known about myself, but never realized to word it like this: one of my greatest weaknesses is my extreme difficulty in forming new habits that aren’t easy to adopt. I’ve been aware of this for sometime, but this blog and this summer have illuminated this to a new degree. I had the potential to accomplish much more with my time than I have, and, for that, I’m ashamed.
To my credit, I HAVE accomplished some things. This summer, in many ways, has been an improvement from where I used to be, but I realize there is and was room for more. Therefore, I’m left in an awkward state of shame and contentment, which—to a certain degree—might be healthy. Who knows, I’m young and foolish still. But tomorrow is a new day, with new opportunities, and a chance to improve.
“You couldn’t get hold of the things you’d done and turn them right again. Such a power might be given to the gods, but it was not given to women and men, and that was probably a good thing. Had it been otherwise, people would die of old age still trying to rewrite their teens.” – Stephen King